06. Kelly Wheadon
WEALTH + WELLNESS: THE INTERPLAY OF FINANCES ON HEALTH

Erica Carroll [00:00:01 - 00:01:39]:
Welcome to the Alchemy of Healing podcast. I'm your host Erica Carroll. For over 20 years I worked as an actress in film and TV until my health forced its way to center stage and demanded I focus on the alchemical process that is healing. Along the way I had to examine preconceived beliefs around how to optimize my body and how to empower myself to find solutions.

I know how lonely, isolating and hopeless chronic illness can feel and the Alchemy of Healing sessions aim to enlighten and inspire new ideas to help you find your unique path back to wellness.

So, join me while I speak with experts in diverse fields of self-care. Practitioners, biohackers, healers and folks like you who are the true experts of their own bodies sharing their personal stories of how they transmuted from surviving to thriving.

So, today, we're going to chat about an area of healing that may not occur to some of you as one that needs attention. It is the energy of belief systems around abundance and more specifically money and our relationship to it. We're going to discuss how becoming aware of the program that runs in your subconscious about this topic can put a serious strain on your health, your happiness, and the ability to achieve your dreams of living life to the fullest. 

So today, I am chatting with my friend, Kelly Whedon, who is a holistic wealth consultant, best-selling co-author, money connector, wealth builder, dream achiever, and senior marketing director of World Financial Group in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Hi, Kelly.

Kelly Wheadon [00:01:40 - 00:01:43]:
Hello. I'm so excited to be here. That was a lot.

Erica Carroll [00:01:43 - 00:02:35]:
Thanks so much. I know, I'm trying to wrap my tongue around all that stuff. I was reading in your bio about you, you're on a path to make big changes in the world by creating a safe space to open up about finances, which, I know, is one of the big taboo subjects out there in the world. Why? Why is it so hard for us, as Canadians but in all other cultures as well? It is such a taboo topic, and we have a lot of shame, a lot of embarrassment, a lot of people feeling out of their depth, but then also people just not knowing anything besides the basics. If you don't have it, don't spend it. What got you interested in going into working in finance?

Kelly Wheadon [00:02:37 - 00:05:03]:
I never had an interest in finance. I had an interest in money, making it, and what it could do for me. I grew up in a small town, so that's kind of where we met. It was an oil-filled town. So there was a lot of money around for people going out to camps and being away from their families. And just in that simplicity of it, that's where you make the money. You do what your parents do. You know, I had dreams and goals, but I was too afraid to leave home because I was too afraid to leave my family, which is funny enough. And then, I remember growing up going, you know, you're a welder, dad, just like so-and-so. How come our house isn't like theirs? And it's not like their house was much bigger, you know? And I just thought, not that we were poor, so to speak, but it was like, we were comfortable. We got to do the things we got to do, but sometimes we only do the things that our parents want to do. So I'm like, why weren't we traveling and going here and doing this and going on all these vacations that I know some of my friends were doing? Well, that's just because my parents didn't care to go to Mexico. 

So in a way we all kind of grow up that way, or we grow up with our parents always, going on trips and this and that. My wife, her and her husband at the time with their little one, he's been to more places than I've been to before he was 10 years old. Been to Europe, been to all of these places. And I'm like, but how is that possible? Why is that possible? Not realizing people do live on credit and credit cards. And they figure out how to pay it off later. But then that puts so much stress on ourselves. 

I bet you everybody watching this, has this place in your town that you consider where the wealthy live? We had Snob Hill. I know we do. And I'm like, what does that actually do to us internally when we see the people? Those people that live on that hill, we're already psychologically damaging our relationship with them, but the relationship with money. Because then we start to think very poorly and talk poorly to ourselves. Well, I will never have that. Then it's the self-worth. Then it's “I'm not good. I'm not good enough. That'll never be me.” And then we start this cycle of almost creating illness within us.

Erica Carroll [00:05:03 - 00:05:27]:
You start a narrative right from the get-go that someone who has financial abundance is a snob. That also perpetuates the belief systems of those who are around you. Because everyone's like, oh, it's Snob Hill. Those are the people who have and were the have-nots. Can we talk a little bit about why? So why is money so hard to talk about and then get control over?

Kelly Wheadon [00:05:27 - 00:07:20]:
So I'll give a little brief story too. Growing up, I never felt there was a lack. I felt pretty good. My parents would pretty much give us anything we wanted, so to speak. We just sometimes didn't really ask for a lot either. But my parents were always like, go to school, get a good education, get the same job, get your investment planning through work, and that's pretty much it. Pay off your house. That has carried on and carried on. But then you start to see other people like making tons of money on YouTube and then people on MTV at the time. All of these people that are able to make money and then we go, why can't I do that? But then you go back to your circle of where you're at. And if you are not being uplifted and promoted to be able to do anything you put your mind to, then that's kind of a hurdle almost right there. 

I never thought I'd get into money and finance because I didn't think I was smart enough. I hated math and I was naturally a shy person. Three things that's probably going to kind of hurt you in this industry. I got involved because my sister ended up passing away almost 10 years ago and I saw what it did to my family that she didn't have a will. What happens to her condo? I got four days of bereavement from my job and I realized this job doesn't care about me. So then all of that too, all still relates to money. What can money do for us? But it can also hurt us if we have improper thoughts about it. In society, look at the movies. How many people have seen wealthy people do corrupt things? How many people think wealthy people are shysters? They get away with so much. The hard working, the poor get poorer, the rich get richer. Like how many times do we hear those things and how many times have we said it? And I know I have.

Erica Carroll [00:07:21 - 00:07:56]:
All the same. You know, money is the root of all evil. Right. There's that mentality, that scarcity mentality. There's also another thing that I observed in my ancestry where if you step out of … you're trying to be above your peers and your family and in the past, I'm not saying it's necessarily now, but this, oh who do you think you are? Oh, you're better than us, which is challenging for when someone wants to improve their economic life. Not only are you trying to overcome your own, but you're also trying to overcome the people who are around you.

Kelly Wheadon [00:07:56 - 00:08:06]:
Oh, yeah. So there's like, I can't, I was just going to Google it. It's like six basic human needs. And the main one is from what I … 

Erica Carroll [00:08:06 - 00:08:06]:
Maslow’s hierarchy?

Kelly Wheadon [00:08:07 - 00:08:11]:
Love and connection, certainty, variety, and all of that. We all want love and connection.

Kelly Wheadon [00:08:12 - 00:09:04]:
And sometimes we feel if we had money, we could do this. But I truly feel that money will bring out or embellish the characteristics of that human being. So if you're a good person, you will do good. If you're a jerk, you could potentially be more of a jerk with just more money. Like I sat with a lady and I asked her, I said, when you think of the word money and everybody listening to this call, take out a piece of paper and write money at the top of the page and write down everything that comes to mind. Some might be freedom, security, some might be triggers, trauma, hate, anger, corruption. See what your thought is because that right there will tell you kind of what has almost stopped you or plagued you up until now.

Erica Carroll [00:09:05 - 00:09:06]:
Yeah.

Kelly Wheadon [00:09:06 - 00:09:56]:
So I was sitting with a lady and I was asking her, "What do you think when you think of money?” She's like, oh, people, you know, they do evil things and they're just, they're corrupt, they're bad people. And I said, well, if you were a wealthy person, tell me what you would do with that. She goes, oh my gosh, I would have a retreat center, I would have a retreat center for animals and a fostering system, this and this and this. I said, okay, so is that corrupt? Is that bad? And you could almost see the relief on her body because she realized she had set a standard of what money meant to her, but it wasn't who she was. So it's almost like we do that. We set a standard of what we think money will be, but if we're not aligned to that standard, we can actually repel money coming into our life. Totally. And I was like, when I started to really see this, I'm like, holy crap. We all do it.

Erica Carroll [00:09:56 - 00:10:32]:
When you meet up with clients, is there a common response that you see that people tend to, well, you gave that exercise as an example, but when you start that initial conversation with someone who's coming in, they've never, they're like, oh God, it's time. I've got to get a will and I've got to get this stuff in order or I want a mortgage and, you know, they're stepping into the financial world. In a way that they've never had before. Do you find that there's a common response or reaction people have when they're just like, you know, some people get, you know, pukey around, you know, it's like, oh yeah, money.

Kelly Wheadon [00:10:34 - 00:10:51]:
Everybody is listening. Like, as soon as you said, I'm a holistic financial person. Most people went, what the hell does that mean? Right. And then most people, when I say I work in finances, they say I don't have money. I have nothing to invest in. And you won't be able to help me.

Erica Carroll [00:10:52 - 00:10:54]:
Oh, interesting.

Kelly Wheadon [00:10:54 - 00:12:18]:
So when I sit down with people and I know being, you've had these conversations, it's more like you kind of just, I hate the word budgeting. It's like dieting. We never want to do it. We feel restricted. So it's like, it comes down to what kind of lifestyle do you want now? What lifestyle do you want later on? Yeah. And most of us, we put things on hold because of our current money situation. But what if we took money? What if we took money out of the equation? How would our health be? How would our physical health, our mental health, our relationships, how would that actually be? And I really started to think like, if I didn't have to worry about time and money, and of course, you'll hear that from network marketing and things like time and money didn't matter. What would you do? But we literally need to have these questions with ourselves and our spouses and then even our children, because we have such innocence when we're kids. We could do anything. We could fly to the moon and be a fireman at the same time and maybe a doctor and a nurse. And now we're like, I just want to be able to pay my bills. But in paying your bills, how many things are we getting too far involved in? Because we do things by emotion. And honestly, money is part of energy and emotion. That's really what energy is, is emotion. So it's energy and emotion. Yeah. So when we use money as the right tool.

Erica Carroll [00:12:18 - 00:14:42]:
One of the things that blew my mind open, and this is such a simple concept, just the idea of money is just a paper form of energy. For example, you're an artist. You are naturally skilled at creating your artwork. So therefore, it feels effortless to you. It feels like, oh, my time is only worth $20 an hour because I can do this in my sleep. This energy and the specialization that like a lot of artists have. But then they get shameful, oh, gosh, I can't make that much money for what I do. And that's even something myself and so many actors that I know, when it comes to negotiating contracts and our wages and stuff like that, having to overcome, am I worth that much? And it's like, yes, we're worth so much more than we've been trained and taught to think that we're worth. Just that paper form of energy exchange. And if you want to pay someone in chickens or in swapping services or silver and gold or cash, you know, it's all just an energy exchange. Do you find that people, when they come to you, they have those programs and how do you help? It's funny when I read out that you're a holistic wealth guy, I accidentally said holistic health consultant because it is so much a part of our health. So for people who have a disability, our health is affected by the treatments that we can get and the access to funding that we have in Canada to help us that we feel shameful to access. How do you find clients who come up against disability? Well, I think it's really important to help them navigate that in a way that is palatable, you know, because it's first of all, it's hard to come to terms with the financial insecurity of a disability. But then when you're compromised and you're having to then jump through the hoops and the paperwork and all that stuff, it can be exhausting. It's a deterrent. You're already exhausted.

Kelly Wheadon [00:14:42 - 00:15:46]:
Oh, yeah. Or it's that you're not old enough for this project. Or this program or this category or you're not disabled or sick enough. We do get this. Someone else deserves it more than I do. You know, an analogy on a butter knife is we've all used it as a screwdriver, but it's not exactly the right tool. So using money as the right tool and you're right about that. It's that exchange principle, you know, so my wife massage therapist, she trades her services for another massage. But what they do is they put money in an envelope and they exchange that back and forth because it's still that process of not doing a free service. I'm still paying you for your service for your worth of that one hour. And it's so important to think like that because, you know, you're talking about artists. What's the first thing that comes to most people's minds? Starving artists.

Kelly Wheadon [00:15:48 - 00:17:47]:
Fortunately, you already set the stage of I must be an artist because I'm not making my ends meet. So when you go traditionally and you go to the bank, you're going to go in and out during bankers time. That's usually when you're working. So it's an inconvenience. You're taking time off to go in to see someone who you maybe get to see for 45 minutes and then you go back two weeks later or a month later and it's usually a different person. So there's still that frustration about any retelling. Retelling your story, retelling your story, which is a constant and never ending trigger. 

I am going through the process myself. Constant improvement on my own spending habits, my own brain waves and cycles and you know, NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. It's amazing. And it's like you said, we have to reprogram ourselves every day with meditation or just thought processes or I have the people listening. Have you actually sat with your dialogue about money? So here's something I started putting $20 into my wallet or I always carry cash on me. Not a lot. So if anybody's trying to think of trying to do anything here, but it's, it's that self talk too. I don't have cash on me. That is actually lowering your inhibitions on your own ability to afford something. How much more empowering is it to walk into a store knowing that you have 20 bucks or a hundred dollars on you and go? I could buy what I want here, but I don't need to. And you can walk out. Typically I hear, I don't have enough money. I don't have money on me. And I said it to myself and I'm like, no, but I have money in the bank or I have money here. So we almost treat ourselves and talk to ourselves like we have zero. Even if we have a dollar, that's still more than zero. Okay. Maybe that won't pay the rent. Okay. But we got to start really at the base and the base really comes down to what did we hear growing up or what do we think we hear growing up?

Erica Carroll [00:17:47 - 00:18:11]:
One of the sayings in my house was I don't have two pennies to rub together. And I thought it was such a cute saying, but it is a limiting belief. I don't have two pennies to rub together. That's the smallest amount. I don't even have that to rub together. And it trickles into every choice that you make.

Kelly Wheadon [00:18:11 - 00:19:33]:
It's actually, it's funny. I wrote this down. So there's things like money traumas. When you're growing up, if your parents divorced or, or if your parents fought about money, I will send you an incredible, I think it was the Bank of Montreal that actually put on an empowering women commercial. And it was the simple things of growing up. Did you hear, ah, it's just a little retail therapy. Don't tell your mom or don't tell your dad when you're going to the back of the closet, right? Those simple things have actually caused us issues. So psychological conditions or thoughts around money create self-destructive financial behavior. So my parents, like I'm trying to remember back and I don't really remember a lot, but I know it was, you know, you want to save for the future. You want to save for this. So it was constantly, if I didn't have enough, I felt like I wasn't saving enough. But then on the flip side, if you don't want to listen to your parents, you do the exact opposite. So you spend it all. Cause you're like, my parents never let me do anything. We never went on trips. I don't want to have that. I want to give my kids everything. So then we do the complete opposite. Like it, it is so fascinating where we get to our adulthoods, whenever that may be. And we're like, why am I doing the things I'm doing?

Erica Carroll [00:19:33 - 00:19:49]:
And the things that you do to trick yourself and rationalize things. Like one of the things that I notice is the, I just don't open my bills. Cause if I don't open them, then they're not there. They're not real. That's not how it works.

Kelly Wheadon [00:19:50 - 00:19:51]:
It can for a little while.

Erica Carroll [00:19:53 - 00:19:56]:
You're like, how come I don't have a house to live in anymore?

Kelly Wheadon [00:19:56 - 00:21:47]:
Why is my power being shut off? And I mean, it's not saying that that always happens for people. And we, and I get it that people are struggling. But there, there are people that want to listen. There are people and there are ways to possibly help. But we don't know unless we actually sit down and talk it through. 

That's why I'm thankful for getting into the industry. I did because our industry is all about talking to your friends and family, telling them what you're learning and telling them what you're doing. We all do this in general. Anyways, you see a good book. You tell someone about it. You see a good movie. You have a good hair stylist, whatever you're telling your circle, your family and friends, what the amazing experience you had. And then we get in … so in my industry, it's like, hey … tell your friends and family, you're getting into the financial industry. And I'm like, they only remember me from the bar. People aren't going to see him as a financial person. And I, and I get that. 

But then because of this industry, it made me remember people from my youth, which made me remember you, which made me reach out to you. Cause I was just like, hey, maybe we'll get to reconnect and I can tell you what I'm doing. And because of those, overcoming the past to be able to go, I'm wanting to help everyone. And it doesn't matter if you are a millionaire running a billion dollar business or you're someone who in Alberta is on AGE, which is income support systems and you have disabilities. I'm going to treat you the same way. It doesn't matter. And then when we reconnected and just kind of heard your story, I was like, there's some resources for you. And I know for the first instant, when we talked about it, you're like, Oh, SPS. And I'm like, no, look into it. And then I followed up with you. Cause mostly you'll get the do this. I don't want to do it. Right.

Erica Carroll [00:21:47 - 00:22:54]:
Well, and, and the system, the way it's built, there's a lot of resistance against what qualifies as disability. And also say someone like me and a lot of people I know who have chronic illnesses and conditions, you learn so well how to mask it. But to the point that my doctor, even though she knows what I got diagnosed with and these conditions are really tough. She still, I had to really break it down how complicated and how much I struggle. I think that's also something that holds people back is, I want to be positive. I want to think positive towards the future. Every day I bump up against these challenges. And I think a lot of people who experienced this too. Sitting down and writing how much things really suck is hard. And I don't want to be there and stay there, but luckily, thanks to your encouragement, I was able to be totally honest and yeah, I got that help finally. So thank you. You're welcome.

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Kelly Wheadon [00:24:22 - 00:27:37]:
That's where it kind of starts with if you think about the financial side of things, because I like the way you put it, we act and mask even to ourselves. So then what happens? We get more aches and pains because we're hiding our financial situation. We're shameful. We're feeling guilty. Then all of a sudden we're not sleeping, all of a sudden we're not eating, because we're trying to get either that sugar boost. Because we didn't sleep well, because we're so stressed about our finances that our relationships are starting to suffer, because you're mad at your spouse. Or you're mad at your kids or you feel guilty because you can't give your kids this or you overspend and put them into sports that, you know, it's just you're struggling to do. 

But there are programs that are available. But then it's like, well, I don't want help from somebody. You know, we get this where we've relied on our parents for so long. And then we just think I'm an adult. I can do it myself. But you know what? 

In your mind, if you think that take the word illness and write it out, scratch out the I and put WE … wellness. So wellness is not meant to be done on your own. So collectively, I love your podcast here because it's collectively saying we together are going to promote better health in every aspect of life, we can spiritually, mentally, physically. Hopefully like everything. Hope is part of that, too. And when I started to realize finances is, that's one area that, so I used to be in oil and gas and I built light armored vehicles for the military. I loved my jobs. But then I also saw I was really going nowhere. And then when I knew the company was closing down, I started to go for massage therapy. My wife's a massage therapist, you met her and we were going to open up a healing center or a clinic because she's more on the I like to say the woo woo side. She's very spiritual. But what I was noticing when the company I was working for was about to close down, was who's going to hire me now? I'm freaked out about retirement. Nobody. Nobody's going to help me. 

And then let's go back to when you said you were coming over from Ireland and it comes almost like from your country and ancestrally. I've had some rental properties and stuff. So I was called a slumlord. So we have this connotation of when people are doing. Better than us. We feel this internal judgment and shame and we don't want them to succeed, because jealousy, we're not doing it because sometimes we have that self-worth and that feeling down upon ourselves when honestly anybody is capable of anything, disability or not. 

Yes, you can maybe only go so far but together, people I like to say collaborate a lot more. And that's why I say money connectors. I connect you through money. I connect you through a collaboration on a better association with money so that you can actually have more and that's what it all comes down to. So the collective of we when we start thinking better when we start thinking on the same energy levels of helping people have a better level of money on it will change the world. Here's kind of a funny thing. Watch the movie and this is not promoting the movie Tomorrowland.

Erica Carroll [00:27:37 - 00:27:40]:
Oh, yeah. I actually just watched that a couple months ago.

Kelly Wheadon [00:27:40 - 00:28:43]:
Probably rewatch it and now go into it and go what is happening in the world today? Where is everybody's focus? So the gist of the movie is we wanted people to see that there's so much badness out there that if they start to notice it, they'll start to change it. But what was happening? There were more floods and more earthquakes and more destruction because more people will collectively thinking about the bad. What if we can start changing? Yeah, and this is where personal growth, personal development is being able to bring all of that together and go, if me and you can think on the same wavelength and have these conversations and you elevate me because of some things that you've been through and I can go well, hey, did you think about this way? So the disability tax credit and just different resources and that leveled you up to go. Wow. I didn't realize that was available and I feel more hopeful now. We've both gone up on a frequency and vibration.

Erica Carroll [00:28:43 - 00:29:38]:
Yeah, you're coming out of that fear frequency. I mean we can just look at the world right now and the level of fear frequency that keeps us all out of the flow and it's interesting. You know that money is also associated with flow when you're frozen in that fear frequency. You can't attract the energy. That is abundance. But even, not even understanding the concept of passive income that something you have created could be giving you money and you're not working an eight-hour day to get that passive income. In this day and age, the way that you can monetize your intellectual property and things like that. There's so much more out there. I find it interesting how many people don't even recognize that they're still just like I got to work 9 to 5 and that's what I got to do.

Kelly Wheadon [00:29:38 - 00:29:49]:
We're taught hard work and if you aren't physically doing almost with your hands or your own body trading that time for a dollar that you're not worth it.

Erica Carroll [00:29:49 - 00:29:49]:
Yeah.

Kelly Wheadon [00:29:49 - 00:30:46]:
So people like what if I baked a bunch of cakes and I could do that on the side and then still do my 9 to 5 job. That in itself is entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship definitely changes the way a person has to think and I like to say in the financial industry. You have to have multiple sources of income. So I know I said this as analogy, so everybody who's listening if you like your job great. But if you don't like your job, here's an analogy that just kind of came to me. If you don't like your job, you really really despise it. You hate it. You hate the person you're becoming, what happens in those two weeks when you get that paycheck? You can easily just be blowing it so quickly because you've attached that money to something you hate doing. So that's part of a psychological thing. So I know we talked about the book like I recommend this book to everybody. Psycho cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and I know that you've got a copy of the book.

Erica Carroll [00:30:46 - 00:31:16]:
I first started in acting school. It was 1998 my gosh and my teacher was like you need to read this. It was kind of the first self-help book. Oh, it blew my mind. It was quite the book to start with. Yeah to the listeners. I asked Kelly last week. Was there any books that he's interested in, you know that inspires them and this was the one and I just it just blows my mind because this is literally the first book I ever read.

Kelly Wheadon [00:31:17 - 00:32:45]:
So people like the psychology of things too. It's as simple as when you think of money and what can come to you and being thankful for what does. So I was frustrated with my care of coffee as I didn't want to spend money on all these stupid pods. I really only drink coffee once in a while. I'm trying not to go to Starbucks and all this stuff. I said, you know what? Just a small coffee pot. Maybe I'll just go to Value Village, Goodwill and I'll just find a cheap ass coffee and then literally like not even two days later a lady in their office goes. Hey, do you know anybody who wants a four cup coffee pot? I'm like, yeah, how much? She goes, no, I'm just giving it away. I'm moving and so if you want it. 

Like that's manifesting laws of attraction, but it's also allowing and accepting and listening to what's possible. So that actually saved me money. So we sometimes forget the simple parts of that aspect that is actually money coming to us in sometimes a material way. So I help people think these ways and think these things through too because it's as simple to remind ourselves of what are the good things that have been happening to us so that we can actually start to close out all that negative crap. Another good movie is What the bleep do you know? It's very old. So this is like financial healing is we need to cut the apron strings of the past to be able to move forward.

Erica Carroll [00:32:45 - 00:33:34]:
And that requires so much presence. I had a conversation with a friend in the summer and there was this misunderstanding between a couple people and it came up that it was possibly regarding the other person's financial status in the world. And I was like, huh, that's really interesting. Why would that be the case? But it was the belief system of the people speaking about it, and their limitations, they're viewing this person because they're financially wealthy. They were somehow better than them now. And that was the reason I just interjected and said, is it possible that they just don't like you? Is it possible that they don't resonate? With you anymore? Is it possible that you guys don't really get along?

Kelly Wheadon [00:33:35 - 00:33:37]:
Yeah, there's not your people anymore.

Erica Carroll [00:33:37 - 00:33:48]:
But it's interesting how we can come up with these narratives that someone's just too good for you now because they have financial security.

Kelly Wheadon [00:33:48 - 00:35:01]:
Oh, yeah. I still go through it, too. I go through conversations in my head of, you know, a person's got so much money and I don't have value to add to them, even though I'm in the industry. They're not going to want to listen to me. Yet there's people in my office who make quarter million, 800,000, a million, two million, three million dollars a year, 10 million a year. And I can sit and have a conversation with them. Like we talk about everything, you know, family, kids, fishing, you know, their vehicles. One of them still drives a Ford F-150. I'm like, nice truck. It's got a little bit more bling on it than, you know, the regular person. He also makes like 10 million a year. But at the same time, he's not treating me any differently. But I in my mind was treating him differently. 

And there are lots of people out there with money who are jerks. But you know what? I like to say we're all spirits having a human experience. And I've been saying something wrong for a very, very long time. Respect is earned. And I don't believe that anymore. Respect should be given. We should all be respectful of each other. And disrespect is earned. So hold that door for that person because you're a good person. It's not about them at all. It's about who you want to be.

Erica Carroll [00:35:02 - 00:35:02]:
Yeah.

Kelly Wheadon [00:35:02 - 00:36:23]:
So like that transitions into finances too. Like it really does. Like if you want to, if you're a good person, be a good person. Keep doing that goodness about you. It will be infectious at some point to the right person at the right time. Because you don't know, what if you open the door and someone doesn't say thank you. Maybe you just don't know what happened to them. Maybe they haven't eaten yet. I get hangry. Or, you know, they just had a fight with a spouse or they just lost their parent. They're in their own head. And I know at times we get to this point where, well, this person didn't do this. 

And the reason why I bring this up kind of falls back as why I got into the industry is when my sister passed away, I got all her contacts in my phone and I'm still going through them. It's been seven years but, you know, ten years almost. But there was one lady I had called through the phone. And I just said, hey, you know, got your phone number in my phone. I think you knew my sister, such and such. And she goes, oh, yeah, how's she doing? And I went, oh, I'm sorry to inform you. She passed away three years ago. And there was silence on the phone. And she goes, that's why she never emailed me back. That's why she never called me back. So the reason why I bring this up is because there's so many times we get in our heads of, oh, that person's avoiding my phone calls. Oh, that person's not calling me back. There could be a legitimate reason.

Erica Carroll [00:36:24 - 00:36:24]:
Uh-huh.

Kelly Wheadon [00:36:25 - 00:37:04]:
So I've just – I'm not like in this amazing purview. I'm a human being who still struggles every day. But I just want to live by three words, love, light, and hope. I want to give love and be the light for people. I want to give hope and be hopeful for people. And I just want to exude love to people. And it doesn't matter who you are. And until you've earned my disrespect, I will always be respectful. And that's also kind of what we got to do and treat money the same way. It deserves our respect until we disrespect it. By maybe not being more thoughtful with it, what it could do for us. But what does it do to us?

Erica Carroll [00:37:05 - 00:37:06]:
Gratitude for it, right?

Kelly Wheadon [00:37:06 - 00:37:22]:
Gratitude is a huge one. Yep. Like I'm so thankful and grateful for this coffee pot. I'm so thankful and grateful for the dime that I just found on the ground. I'm a money magnet. I find money everywhere I go. Can you see I say that probably 20, 30 times a day, if not more?

Erica Carroll [00:37:23 - 00:37:49]:
Right. Here's a question for you with the position you hold. Have you had any clients where you've seen, you know, someone struggling really hard and then them learning more and more about their financial, just even prospects, things that they can do, implementing systems into the way they work with their money, who have succeeded and overcome the challenges that they face?

Kelly Wheadon [00:37:50 - 00:38:16]:
I've seen both. So I've gone from taking someone with extreme amounts of debts. We had to do some extreme measures to, hey, now they're actually being able to start putting some money away. But it was all about keeping the steps of building the habit of saving. Because we can all say, I just got to get my debt paid down first. You know, I just, as soon as I get this, I'll be able to start saving. The psychology part of that is it will be really hard to get to one stage if you haven't started the stage.

Erica Carroll [00:38:17 - 00:38:18]:
Okay.

Kelly Wheadon [00:38:18 - 00:38:35]:
So even if you're trying to pay down debt, if you could even put $5 a week. But what happens? $5 is going to do nothing. What's the point? Why should I even do that? Because it's about that psychological habit of just doing that. Then I've also seen people go, we've had extreme measures. We paid off a lot of debt. Saved them $2,000 a month that they could have been doing so much more with. 

Erica Carroll [00:38:37 - 00:38:46]:
But that programming kicks back in.

Kelly Wheadon [00:38:46 - 00:38:51]:
And they're right back where they started. I need to do bankruptcy again. I need to do this again. And I'm like, it's not the money's fault.

Erica Carroll [00:38:52 - 00:39:52]:
Like that's the thing, right? It's a lot of times people want to blame money. I speak about this stuff not in like judgment of it. I speak from experience, you know, in my own life experience. And just if it wasn't for. I got a shout out to the Smart Cookies book. Do you know Smart Cookies? I think I have the authors. Andrea Baxter, Angela Self, Katie Dunsworth, Robin Gunn, Sandra Hanna. They wrote a book called Smart Cookies. And you go through a program where, you know, you meet with five women. And you just review your finances and all this. And that was a big turning point for me. Because it felt safer too. In the safety of your own home. Kind of talk about the financial things. And without the, you know, the fear of the banker. The bank advisor.

Kelly Wheadon [00:39:53 - 00:40:15]:
Some women will relate to women. And some men will relate to men. But some women want to work with a man and not a woman. So you still have to do some due diligence. And working with someone who you vibe with is a big thing too. I'm not always going to be a fit for everybody. I can only hope. But I'm also the type of person that if you don't want to work with me, I will help you find someone.

Erica Carroll [00:40:16 - 00:40:40]:
Yeah. You love to read too. I've seen some of your stacks of books. Are there any specific books? Like I gave a shout out to smart cookies. Oh yeah. Right. You got a pile there. Are there any, you know, good starter financial books? And I'm not speaking just around, you know, like, oh, this is a budget. This is how you invest. The energy around abundance. Like, do you have any go-tos that you'd suggest?

Kelly Wheadon [00:40:42 - 00:40:56]:
Simple wealth, Inevitable Wealth is actually a really good one. It's all about learning about equities and investments. So that's kind of your standard. Then there is actually. I love the book. Ask And It Is Given by Esther Hicks. Okay.

Erica Carroll [00:40:56 - 00:40:56]:
Yep.

Kelly Wheadon [00:40:57 - 00:41:30]:
Because when we think of wealth, wealth is going to be a different definition to everybody. So until you're actually clear on what that looks like for you, you might already be the wealth that you want and not even realizing it. So I've had conversations with people and I've sat down and I've done their budget and this and that. And I'm like, no, you're actually where you want to be. So a couple little tweaks and you can have the things you say you want to have. Then I've had people go. Well, I want, you know, I want to be making a hundred grand a month. And then, and I'm like, okay, you make $12 an hour.

Erica Carroll [00:41:31 - 00:41:35]:
The potential is there, but you have to be like, okay, if you're making this much.

Kelly Wheadon [00:41:36 - 00:41:37]:
What does the work look like?

Erica Carroll [00:41:37 - 00:41:39]:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Kelly Wheadon [00:41:39 - 00:41:49]:
For those people that are maybe struggling on breaking through some of the BS and I'll say it's the belief systems. A really good book is Love What Is by Byron Katie.

Erica Carroll [00:41:50 - 00:41:50]:
Okay.

Kelly Wheadon [00:41:50 - 00:42:36]:
So that was actually just given to me a couple months ago. And I like it because it actually has some worksheets as part of it. So it's something called, the work. It's whatever your belief system is and how you can actually ask questions to work through it. It really dives deep into a lot of things from relationships to all encompassing. And I like to say how you do one thing is how you do everything. How you treat this here is kind of how you almost treat everything. And it's fascinating when we start to dive into the brains in our minds on this stuff. It's like it's a lot of work. So it's easy to avoid. It's easy to not want to deal with it. It's easy to pass it off. But then we sit and complain about it over here.

Erica Carroll [00:42:36 - 00:42:45]:
Because you get comfortable in your discomfort, right? And then getting out of discomfort is very uncomfortable. We're so complicated.

Kelly Wheadon [00:42:45 - 00:43:15]:
Yeah. Or realizing. I've been uncomfortable for so long. It's hard to get out of because I know what it's like. So think of even an illness. Sometimes we define ourselves by an illness. Sometimes we don't even remember what it was like to be fully healthy. But we're almost scared to be there because we don't know who we would be without this over here.

Erica Carroll [00:43:17 - 00:43:17]:
Totally.

Kelly Wheadon [00:43:17 - 00:43:26]:
So it can damage us, but it can be freeing at the same time. The work is, it's the unknown. That's what causes so much anxiety and stuff.

Erica Carroll [00:43:26 - 00:43:34]:
Yeah, exactly. If we were to wrap up, did we already sneak your financial words of wisdom? Did you have a backup? I do, actually.

Kelly Wheadon [00:43:34 - 00:43:38]:
If we don't take time for our wellness, we will be forced to take time for our illness.

Erica Carroll [00:43:39 - 00:43:53]:
Mm-hmm. I love that one. And it's all about stagnant versus flow. Mm-hmm. The fear around money, the fear around health. If you're not flowing, I mean, nothing can flow to you. What is it?

Kelly Wheadon [00:43:53 - 00:43:57]:
A thousand-yard journey all starts with one step. Yeah.

Erica Carroll [00:43:57 - 00:44:00]:
And that's going to see your financial advisor.

Kelly Wheadon [00:44:01 - 00:44:31]:
I'll leave everybody with this. So it's not your fault that you are where you're at, but I will say it's your fault if you stay here. And I know that's a harsh realization. I read this book, and the title of the book is It's Not Your Fault You're Fat, But It's Your Fault If You Stay Fat. And I'm like, but it's true. Because we're where we're at because of programming, because of habits. And if you truly want to change it, you've got to change, and you've got to be willing to do the work. Is it going to be easy? No. But if you're willing, that's the first step. Yeah.

Erica Carroll [00:44:31 - 00:44:51]:
And being present, you have to acknowledge where you're lacking, where you need to grow. And have humility because sometimes it's difficult for some people. They believe they are one way financially. And then you speak to someone who actually spends their life working with finances, and they go, no, this is actually what's happening.

Kelly Wheadon [00:44:51 - 00:45:25]:
Or we always think, too, I should be in a better spot. I'm 46 years old or I'm 50 years old. I should be in a better spot. I've done all this work. Maybe you should be, but maybe you shouldn't be because of what you were programmed to do these last 50 years. So there's this couple if you follow a lot of personal growth and personal development. I'm going to say like most of us are the extras in our own movie. So do you see yourself moving through as the main character? Are you sitting on the sidelines watching your life?

Erica Carroll [00:45:26 - 00:45:35]:
Oh, honey, I have never been just an extra. Okay. Exactly. That's not true. I worked as an extra for a long time. No shame on being an extra.

Kelly Wheadon [00:45:37 - 00:45:54]:
I do remember when we reconnected and they were like, yeah, I played on this show and this show. And I'm like, that is so good. That's so cool. And then we're on Netflix watching a movie and I'm like, hey, that's Erica. And it was an extra? My wife's like, no. No, you were like actually one of the main characters. I was talking with words.

Erica Carroll [00:45:54 - 00:46:13]:
Oh, that's good. Oh, gosh. You and I could talk forever. I know this, but you are working and you should probably go back to helping people save their lives. Yeah, right. Would you kindly let us know where people can find you? Websites, social media links, anything like that?

Kelly Wheadon [00:46:14 - 00:46:36]:
Yes. So I'm not a big Instagram person. I'm just not that tech savvy. So very sorry about that. But everybody can reach me on Facebook. If you can see the recording, this is how you spell my name. I am on Instagram at Kelly D. Whedon. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Facebook. I don't even mind if you want to share and post out my cell phone number.

Erica Carroll [00:46:36 - 00:47:02]:
Oh, wow. Careful what you wish for. All the social media stuff. There's more than enough ways to contact you. But Kelly, I knew you. I knew this was going to be juicy. And I knew we were going to get into some good stuff here. But let's just wrap it up for now. And I'm so glad that we're back in each other's lives. And thank you. Thank you for sharing your pearls of wisdom. And I will probably chat to you in the next day or two.

Kelly Wheadon [00:47:02 - 00:47:03]:
Sounds good, my friend.

Erica Carroll [00:47:05 - 00:48:17]:
Kelly has certainly given us some food for thought. Not only do our belief systems around the paper form of energy have the potential to limit our joy and increase the stress in our bodies, but they can also limit our ability to get treatment if we are unwell physically, leaving us stuck. Bringing awareness to this area might be one of the layers of healing that you may have overlooked in the past. But hopefully our chat today provided some discoveries. 

Coming up next on the Alchemy of Healing Podcast, Somatic Educating with Judy Lamontagne. The term Somatics may be starting to pop up more and more in your sphere. And we're happy to provide this conversation to allow a better understanding of this modality. The body holds the score. And as one unravels, the layers of healing, eventually it will lead to releasing stored trauma, which is fascinating. Somatic work is a gentle practice, but the benefits can be really profound. 

If these words are making your body sit up in anticipation and curiosity, you'll want to heed that nudge and head over to our next episode. As always, we pour out our heartfelt gratitude for you turning up today. 

If you haven't done so yet, please pop over to Spotify or Apple and drop us a review, rate us, or subscribe and share with others you think could benefit from our content. 

Most importantly, keep your chin up, friend, and know that we thank you for bringing your magic to this world. You truly make it a better place to be. Until next time, be well, stay weird, and keep shining.