TRANSCRIPT
01. Erica Carroll + Krista McKeachie
UNVEILING ALCHEMY: OUR MOTIVATION + MISSION
Erica Carroll [00:00:01 - 00:01:23]:
Welcome to the Alchemy of Healing podcast. I'm your host Erica Carroll. For over 20 years I worked as an actress in film and TV until my health forced its way to center stage and demanded I focus on the alchemical process that is healing. Along the way I had to examine preconceived beliefs around how to optimize my body and how to empower myself to find solutions.
I know how lonely, isolating and hopeless chronic illness can feel and the Alchemy of Healing sessions aim to enlighten and inspire new ideas to help you find your unique path back to wellness.
So, join me while I speak with experts in diverse fields of self-care. Practitioners, biohackers, healers and folks like you who are the true experts of their own bodies sharing their personal stories of how they transmuted from surviving to thriving.
The content on this podcast does not provide medical advice, it is for entertainment only. It aims to foster understanding and knowledge on various topics, but they should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have before undertaking a new healthcare regimen. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on a podcast. Guest opinions expressed on this podcast are their own and do not reflect those of Alchemy of Healing.
Erica Carroll [00:01:28 - 00:10:08]:
Welcome everyone to our first episode of the Alchemy of Healing podcast. Let me introduce myself. I'm Erica Carroll and I am the host and co-creator of this podcast and with me is one of my nearest and dearest friends.
Krista McKeachie [00:01:42-00:01:47]:
Hi, I'm Krista McKeachie and I'm in the role of producer as well as Erica mentioned, co-creator.
Erica Carroll [00:01:48-00:03:30]:
We're finally getting around to recording our personal episode. We've already recorded several other interviews getting ready for our launch, but now it's time that we sit down and do the uncomfortable one that focuses on us.
Our goal for the podcast is to create a resource of conversations. So we're going to talk to diverse experts, healers, individuals who've transmuted their challenges into a positive outcome. We're going to cover everything from aspects of self-care that you may be unfamiliar with. We're going to learn about traditional healing, modern technologies, ancient wisdom, and then all the lessons that we've learned along the way to optimize our health.
But before we get rolling into our episode release schedule, we're going to be real with y'all. We both experience chronic illness currently and my body is unpredictable and there are days when I have all the best intentions of completing my to-do list, but my body quite often has other plans. So those of you who are listening who are students of chronic illness, you're going to fully understand the level of frustration this can cause and hopefully you've also learned that surrender is the best play in this circumstance. For me, remembering to release the reins on controlling the outcome of my day has been a powerful lesson and being physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually compromised is not for the faint of heart.
So I applaud all of you listening, who lift your chin up every day and dust yourself off and dance gracefully with your challenges.
We're going to share two episodes per month and we're going to do our best to stay consistent. And if that changes at times, we're grateful for your patience. We're doing our best. So Krista, why are we doing this?
Krista McKeachie [00:03:31-00:03:50]:
What we've spoken about, is that a turning point for both of us began in our twenties when our moms had passed. Both Erica and I's mothers had experienced colon cancer. And when we met for the first time to rehearse for an acting class that we were in, yeah,
Erica Carroll [00:03:51-00:04:02]:
The connection was, it was pretty quick. And within 20 minutes, we got to talking about our moms and then we just connected in our shared grief. And we stuck together.
Krista McKeachie [00:04:03-00:04:09]:
Yeah, it was fairly recent for both of us too. It was uncanny, sort of serendipitous.
Erica Carroll [00:04:10-00:04:14]:
There was definitely some, some otherworldly influence that brought us together.
Krista McKeachie [00:04:15-00:04:51]:
Yeah, so on that, as years then passed, we both found that we were presented with different circumstances, health circumstances that sort of nudged us to dive into information around cancer and other diseases in order to help support the bodies of our friends, pets for you, Erica, and loved ones, and then in turn, eventually ourselves. Due to that ongoing quest, we ended up gathering a breadth of knowledge and information through those experiences over the decades.
Erica Carroll [00:04:52-00:04:58]:
For some reason, people consistently reach out to us. A friend of a friend will always send a friend.
Krista McKeachie [00:04:59-00:05:18]:
Yeah. And like you were saying, the question that we've both contemplated is how do we offer that support in a responsible way, and be able to share our experiential findings that we've made in collaboration with healers and doctors, being that neither of us are actually formally trained in the healing arts.
Erica Carroll [00:05:19-00:05:24]:
Besides the fact that we were obviously healers in past lives. Obviously.
Krista McKeachie [00:05:25-00:05:29]:
We're just talking about this life.
Erica Carroll [00:05:30-00:06:07]:
Yeah one of the biggest reasons for doing the podcast is given that our spoons are extremely limited while we're in our own healing mode, we found it's just not possible to consistently offer the depth of support in the way that we would like to.
So the idea of creating a resource in the form of a podcast where we can point those who want to empower themselves to take control of their own well-being, saving our spoonage and increasing support for those reaching out, it just seemed like a no-brainer. Absolutely. I realized I used the term spoon and for people who don't know what that is can you explain what that is?
Krista McKeachie [00:06:08-00:07:17]:
Yes, the Spoon Theory is a metaphor that was originally explained by a woman named Christine Miserandino (I hope I'm saying her name correctly). We will have the full post of hers on our website at alchemyofhealing.ca if anybody wants to read the full thing. To put it simply, spoons equal energy. We all have varying amounts of spoons in the day. Some people have significantly more than others and don't necessarily have to worry about the effects of their actions and what those effects are on their reserve of energy per se.
For people that are experiencing health challenges, some days there's more spoons than others, and factors such as your pain level, fatigue, overstimulation, inflammation or just even how well you slept that night can affect the amount of spoons that you have available that day. Just to give an example it may take a whole spoon for someone to shower and then a whole another spoon for them to get dressed, whereas in comparison, someone who is in maybe not perfectly but more optimal health, more energy, the source or the well that they are drawing their energy from has deeper reserves.
Erica Carroll [00:07:18-00:07:39]:
Yeah I think that's a really good point, there isn't the same rationing in terms of energy as someone who is dancing with an
illness per se.
Krista McKeachie [00:07:40-00:07:17]:
For someone with chronic illness, a day where you're pushing that energy reserve can also mean that you use up all of today's spoons and then you dig into the next day's spoons.
Erica Carroll
Yeah and it can leave you in a crash.
Krista McKeachie [00:07:52-00:08:40]:
Yeah and that impacts the next day and your ability to recover from it and sometimes it can take days. If there's any listeners out there who are in a supporting role, just take those elements into consideration from day to day. Like you might have five spoons one day, and two the next day and then eight the next day. So now that everybody understands the term, say in your family or your close friends, it's just a nice way of having a reference point without having to get into it and be like ”Well I don't have energy because blah, blah blah, right? Even if it's future plans like “Oh I'd love to do that. If I've got enough spoons, I’ll check in with you.” And then it's not personal right. Oh I can't come to that thing it's just like “Hey man, don't have enough spoons, you guys have fun.”
Erica Carroll [00:08:41-00:10:10]:
And the spoons also are not just physical, they get burned out by emotions, mental work. I can do this talk with you and then I'm gonna have to rest because just the talking, the sitting up, the trying to stay on the ball, trying to remember words, it takes a lot. And then I know I need the rest of the day as a write-off.
There was a program in Vancouver called the Complex Chronic Disease Program and I went to a talk by one of the doctors, I can't recall his name right now, but he explained it this way too in terms of ATP. So the mitochondria of the cell has a little nanomotor which spins and the byproduct is ATP, which is energy. So he's just saying people with this level of fatigue, when they say I'm tired, it's not “Oh I'm tired and I can, I can push through.” It's “I literally don't have ATP.”
I think this is really helpful for people who are in the circle of someone experiencing this challenge. To know it's not something you can muscle through, you know, for example, if someone does overdo it, you know, you have to push through the day, you will end up using different forms of energy. Then mostly, then you end up with adrenal fatigue and the hormones go to a balance. It's harder for things to heal. So just relax. It’s another podcast. Know your limit, play within it, all right.
Erica Carroll [00:10:11 - 00:10:21]:
Anyway, so. And, here's one of the joys of what I'm experiencing. I've completely lost my train of thought. So let me just, let me just refer to my notes. Let's see here.
Krista McKeachie:
Are there any other reasons why we want to do this podcast?
Erica Carroll [00:10:21 - 00:11:16]:
Well, obviously we both love learning and I love connecting with people. So, this podcast gives me a chance to connect and chat with like minded people. And, I mean, we love being of service. Let's not fight it. And, oh, you know what? There's one other thing. When I was working as an actor, not even working as an actor, just being an artist, my whole life and I was creating almost every day, and I didn't realize how necessary and how fulfilling and how important my ability to create anything is. So although this is challenging, it's really fulfilling, and I feel like a part of what's going to help in my healing is to be creating something.
Krista McKeachie:
Yes.
Erica Carroll [00:11:17 - 00:11:24]:
And it may not be perfect, but I've never been really perfect.
Krista McKeachie:
So perfectly imperfect.
Erica Carroll [00:11:27 - 00:11:32]:
Exactly. So I take great joy in just, you know what … I had a t-shirt that used to say, create something every day, even if it sucks.
Krista McKeachie [00:11:33 - 00:11:35]:
Yeah. And it jazzes us, the subjects jazz us.
Erica Carroll:
Totally.
Krista McKeachie [00:11:36 - 00:11:45]:
Should we tell our listeners a little bit about the name of our podcast and why we chose it?
Erica Carroll [00:11:47 - 00:12:00]:
The Alchemy of Healing. Yeah, why not Lyme Pod or Neuralgia Talks? I mean, they do say in the podcast world to have a niche when it comes to your content, because it's a wise strategy. But neither Krista or myself feel it's beneficial to divert our attention and then our intention, away from the end goal, which is healing.
Krista McKeachie:
Yes.
Erica Carroll [00:12:01 - 00:12:17]:
Everything else is just information, and we'll talk about that later. So let's get on to what is alchemy? Why don't you dive in and tell us a bit about that?
Krista McKeachie [00:12:18 - 00:13:30]:
Sure. So, for anybody that hasn't heard of alchemy, it has many definitions, and we could probably do a whole series of podcasts on those. Like the philosophies associated with just alchemy alone. But for the sake of brevity, or at least attempting to be brief, we have narrowed it down a snitch. Here's a definition.
Some refer to alchemy as the medieval chemical science and speculative philosophy whose aims were transmutation of base metals into gold, the discovery of a universal cure for diseases, as well as the discovery of a means of identifying prolonging life. So, to simplify that, the aims of the alchemist were essentially threefold. To find the stone of knowledge; the philosopher's stone, to discover the medium of eternal youth and health, and then to discover the transmutation of metals. So there's that part. And then on the flip side, it's also argued that alchemy has very little to do with chemistry and much more to do with herbology, meditation and chakra development, which is interesting.
Erica Carroll [00:13:31 - 00:13:51]:
So, for us, the concept of alchemy is far more than transforming metal into gold, because obviously, if we could do that, we would be rich. It's more about the practice of inner transformation, the awareness of gifts that come from our challenges and the lessons we derive from them, or the gold, if you will. We believe that we all have the potential to transform our lives and in turn, our health, by aligning our thoughts, our feelings, our actions with our highest and most authentic self. And then that transformation leads to healing on all levels.
Krista McKeachie:
So just as easy as that?
Erica Carroll:
Yeah, it's simple.
Krista McKeachie [00:14:08 - 00:14:10]:
No big deal.
Erica Carroll [00:14:11 - 00:14:16]:
It is said that the ancient study of alchemy led to modern chemistry, but they're not one in the same.
Krista McKeachie [00:14:17 - 00:14:40]:
I saw a meme recently that was either posted or, I don't know … attributed to doctor Joe Dispenza. “An alchemist is an expert of transmutation. A practitioner capable of mystical transformation at the highest level of order. A problem solver, a life changer, and unlimited creator.”
Erica Carroll [00:14:41 - 00:14:42]:
So basically, we're all alchemists in training.
Krista McKeachie [00:14:43 - 00:14:52]:
Absolutely. So, speaking of training, we've had a little training. Should we dig into the series of events that have landed us where we are now?
Erica Carroll [00:14:53 - 00:14:57]:
Yeah, I'd love to record this so I never have to say it again.
Krista McKeachie [00:14:58 - 00:15:57]:
Well, guess what? We are. We are! Lucky you. In terms of, like, just the series of events, I think we've both recognized that we're in a place in our society now, that it's still taboo for some people to discuss their health issues.
And then we have others who don't want to be perceived as attention seeking by sharing their experiences. Which in turn, leaves a fair bit of silence. With people just quietly struggling, when instead we could be using each other's experiences to guide us in our own journeys and helping, to avoid, you know, the pitfalls and save time and money along the way, which is what we've gleaned from listening to people. And I know we both struggled with, I know I have, with even sharing, because of that perception. Right. So why don't you share yours?
Erica Carroll [00:15:58 - 00:17:48]:
Oh, great. Thanks. Why don't you just throw yourself in there? Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, before I even start I want to recognize how grateful I am that my issues have been subtle and slow. I mean, okay, not subtle. They built up, but there are a lot of people out there who suffer far more than I ever have. I'm also not trying to diminish what I've gone through, but I'm just trying to respect that we're all in very different places. And I just happen to be blessed that I live in a country where I have access to even just clean water, good food, healthcare to a certain degree, that I even had income to tend to these issues. So, yeah, I'm grateful that I am in a position to be able to do this.
Some of you may relate to parts of this timeline that I give you, so I hope it serves as a means to just help you recognize and honor nudges that you may be having in your body. You might notice some of the things I talk about right from the start, and then I'm giving you an … this is what happened in the future, as these things eroded, this is what started to happen. I'm not gonna lie, it feels really good when someone reaches out and I can go, oh, I recognize that. You should try this test, this test and this test, or consider doing this, and they find out, and then they can heal and shorten that squiggly line from A to B. And also, when you're desperate, you throw money at anything and everything, you know? Regardless, everybody's on their own journey here on this earth, so I recognize that, too.
So, let's see. Childhood was pretty good. Yeah, I'm going all the way back, but let's skip to 16 years old. I got a tick bite after walking my dog up Maple Mountain on Vancouver Island. And funnily enough, I had just learned about Lyme disease in a class. I pulled it out, mentioned it to my parents. What's the thing that everybody says?
Krista McKeachie [00:17:49 - 00:17:52]:
Did you get a bullseye rash?
Erica Carroll [00:17:53 - 00:18:49]:
I did not. So you must be fine. Okay, well … we're gonna do an episode on it and we'll get into it. You know, we'll get into the details of that. I just had an acquaintance reach out two days ago because he'd been bitten, and he just wanted some advice on what he should do. And although this info is second nature to me, I am still blown away that people don't take it seriously. They're like, well, I didn't get a rash, and I didn't get flu like symptoms. I didn't get sore joints. There's a script that's just replayed out there in the world, but there's a heck of a lot more to watch out for, and it can be a lot more subtle and a lot more sneaky.
Krista McKeachie:
So it's not immediate. Yeah.
Erica Carroll [00:18:50 - 00:19:30]:
For me, it was super sneaky and slow. I had to explain to the friend who called that I, you know, he thought he would immediately be ill from the bite. I had to explain that it took over 20 years for symptoms that I was experiencing to bring me down. And the beautiful thing about the human body and our spirit is that we will persevere. Something that seems really small, we get accustomed to it, and we alter our behavior to cater to a shortcoming. But then you have to constantly check in and be like, oh, I used to be able to walk 20 minutes to the store. Now I can only walk five minutes.
Krista McKeachie [00:19:31 - 00:19:35]:
Yeah. Because the dial moves so slowly, you don't see.
Erica Carroll: [00:19:36-00:21:12]:
So, yeah, I started getting a sore neck, a locked shoulder. I started to get constant headaches. And then I started to get low blood sugar, which was just out of the blue, all of a sudden, I would go shaky and couldn't think. And so I had an experience with that. Then went to the doctor “Oh, you have low blood sugar, so you need to carry candies in your pocket.” That's not how you deal with low blood sugar. But it was the nineties, so I don't know, there's better ways to deal with it. So then I also started having, just feeling the inability to be really present. That's a hard thing to explain. My head felt cloudy, which, I now know as brain fog, better, explained as brain inflammation.
And then when I turned 19, I went up Mount Tzouhalem on the island, and I got bit two more times on that hike on the back of my neck. Freaked out, pulled them out, and then I carried on. I was living away from home, and I just felt off. Now, how do you explain that to a doctor? “I just feel off.” Right. Something's not right, exactly. But I had an unbearable discomfort. I just, I felt, I was aching everywhere. Like, I just had this agitation that I couldn't get away from, the agitation I couldn't pinpoint it … it was … my head was scattered. I just did not feel like myself. I came home, went to the doctor. She noticed that I had really low levels of vitamins and started taking some things. Some of the symptoms improved for a time, but then I got in a couple car accidents, and my joints and specifically my neck just flared up. And I'd had to have weekly deep tissue massages just to ease that pain a little bit. And then I started experiencing panic attacks, which is just not normal. I'm not saying that like, a type of person has panic attacks, but, yeah, there was, just I couldn't.
Krista McKeachie [00:21:13 - 00:21:16]:
It was different for you. That wasn't something that had evolved or you had something.
Erica Carroll [00:21:17 - 00:22:13]:
Yeah. There wasn't any big mental pressure. Yeah. An unprompted panic attack. And then the joint pain was constant and that worsened when I'd exercise. And then I was having a hard time breathing. When you try to take a deep breath, but you can't get that last sip. And now I know it's called air hunger, and that's usually a direct result of, I think it's bartonella, but it might have been babesia. So those are two different infections that you can get from a tick bite as well. And then fatigue. Even in my early twenties, I was already needing to nap daily and I would literally spend the whole day resting to go do a four hour waitressing shift.
Krista McKeachie:
That's not normal.
Erica Carroll [00:22:14 - 00:22:22]:
I know. I know that now. Yeah. So from hour to hour, I'd have bouts of nausea for no apparent reason and headaches and dizziness.
Erica Carroll [00:22:23 - 00:23:09]:
So that's in my twenties. But at the same time, I am deep into acting training. I'm pursuing a career in Film and TV. I start having heart funkiness. Sometimes I feel my heart pounding in my chest for no reason, or I'd stand up from a squat and I'd see stars. I'd lose portions of my eyesight. Also not normal. Just saying it back now, it's like, wow, but I was busy, guys. I had a dream. I had a dream and I was going for it.
My neck really never recovered from car accidents, although they were super minor. And then my mom passed away when I was 27 and I moved to Ireland to attend college. I was living in Dublin and it was the first time I had a severe bout of vertigo. I could not walk.
Krista McKeachie:
Right. Yes.
Erica Carroll [00:23:10 - 00:23:32]:
And they diagnosed me with something called nystagmus, which is when your eyes are like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep back and forth. I think it was just vertigo, though. Then this is the beginning of, I mean, to this day, I still get vertigo. So that was a lot. Yeah, that was 2000.
Krista McKeachie:
Less so now than then.
Erica Carroll [00:23:33 - 00:23:45]:
Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's part of what I'm going to be able to share of how I managed to get that under control. And just imagine this, I decided to become a yoga teacher while I had vertigo.
Krista McKeachie:
Why not?
Erica Carroll [00:23:46 - 00:23:57]:
I remember being in a yoga class and I was in trikonasana and the room was spinning and I was like, I can do it, I can do it. You know, it's just muscling through. A note to everyone, maybe don't muscle through absolutely everything. I mean, yeah, you gotta put up an effort, but also you gotta know when to tap.
Krista McKeachie:
There's a time and a season for it.
Erica Carroll:
All right, so.
Krista McKeachie [00:24:11 - 00:24:18]:
So when you were, you were in Ireland doing your training.
Erica Carroll [00:24:19 - 00:26:27]:
My teachers were noticing that I was in a lot of pain, and they actually recommended that I see an osteopath, which to me, I had no idea. I was like, do they deal with bones? What? I don't understand. I had no idea. And I remember going to my first osteopath appointment, and he put his hands on my head and I was like, are you kidding me? What is this in my head? That mantra of, like, no pain, no gain? It couldn't have been doing anything. And then I was walking home from the appointment and I had this huge emotional release. That's what I think, you know, that was one point where I was like, oh, wait a minute, there's more levels here. But I still didn't know much. So I returned back to Canada and I found an osteopath who is still my osteopath, and yours, and we're interviewing her in, I think episode four or five. So I found an osteopath in Canada.
But my symptoms kept getting more intense. I mean, some of you listening might relate to just feeling ashamed that there's always something wrong. And I really tried to cover it up. Always a wide range of symptoms. And this is like, hour to hour, day to day. They weren't predictable, and I never knew what to expect. But I was busy pursuing my career, so I just tried to cope with it. And then nerve pain and headaches started to become a thing. There were days when I went to work on set and there were blotches in my eyesight.
I was working on a show called Supernatural at one point, and we were standing on the side of the river, and my character is holding out this blade. And I'd been standing for a couple minutes just while camera and everything was setting up, but I could feel my heart pounding so hard because I'd just been standing for so long. That's like five minutes. That's not normal. But I'm standing there, I'm getting lightheaded and it's just getting difficult. But we're gonna roll. So your mic is, it's usually taped to the inside of the clothes, but it was lying on my chest. After the first take, the sound assistant came over to me, he's like, “We're just gonna come over and move your mic.” And I was like, “Oh, okay. Why? What's up?” And he goes, “Well, we just can't hear your dialogue. Cause your heart, your heart is pounding so hard that that's all they can hear” just because I was standing up. Anyway, it was validating because my heart is working extra hard here. Right?
Krista McKeachie:
Mmmm
Erica Carroll [00:26:28 - 00:27:26]:
Yeah, anyway, it can be pretty hard on your self esteem when, you know, everyone else seems to handle the temperature and the exertion and the time of day. And you're purple because your body's not regulating temperature. That's something I learned about Lyme, is it can wreak havoc with your body's ability to regulate temperature. So, yes, I remember working on a show called When Calls the Heart and we would be shooting winter episodes, but we'd be shooting them in August. So we're wearing, you know, long floor length or ankle length skirts, there are wool coats and gloves.
Krista McKeachie [00:27:27 - 00:27:31]:
Yeah. And it's a period piece for the listeners that don't know. So you're in layers.
Erica Carroll [00:27:32 - 00:28:19]:
Yeah. I would sneak over to craft service, and I would ask them to give me some of those little gel ice packs, and then I would tape them up my spine and, like, just below my neck because I felt like a pressure cooker. I don't sweat. I just turn red, then I turn purple, then I'll pass out kind of thing. So I actually purchased a, you know, antique looking fan so that I could just pull it out and be fanning myself, you know, so part of my wardrobe.
It was just such a stinker because just as I was starting to really, after all the efforts of auditioning and plugging away, trying to build a career, I just was starting to work consistently enough that I was.
Krista McKeachie:
You were on a roll.
Erica Carroll [00:28:20 - 00:31:24]:
I was. Then, yeah, the negative responses in the body just hit a tipping point. I took a couple shots before traveling to film in Russia, and I struggled the whole time while filming. When I returned home to see my doctor, I had to get the boosters for the shots that I had, and then everything changed. I remember that morning I had an audition for a kid show, so I went to the doctor first. Then in the audition, I'd start, and then my mind would go blank. And I don't mean, an actor just forgetting their lines, like a nervous blank.
It was like … this is a gift that came from all this … I didn't realize, like a screen in my mind where I can see the words. Suddenly, that screen was not only blank, it was gone. It was the weirdest sensation, and that's why it alarmed me. And so I started the audition again, and it happened again, and I started again. And then the casting director, who knew me pretty well, he was like, do you want to just step outside and take a second? I was like, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Try to be cool. And I walked out. I grabbed my purse, and I just went out the door. I just knew something was really wrong.
It was nothing. This wasn't normal. And then I called my agent, and I said, pause my auditions. And then my intuition, you know, again, part of the reason why we want to provide these resources. You’ve got to tap back into, what am I feeling? What is the yes? What is the no? You know, we can lose touch with that. So over the next month or two symptoms, I started to manage them, as I've done. But on my next trip to the doctor, about two months later, she had realized that she'd given me the wrong shot. So therefore, I had to get a booster for the shot she gave me. And I was like, yeah, of course, whatever. I trust you. I trust the system. I trust all of these. I trust you've got my best interests. I trust that you. So, yeah, I trust these interventions.
So then the pain that I had been experiencing the last two months, just doubled and tripled every hour. And I went to the emergency. They sent me home because they figured I was just there to get drugs. Seriously. That was said to me. I went to my naturopath, and he was the first one who said, I think you have something called Trigeminal Neuralgia. And the pain was unbelievable. I was in a fetal position. I was just, like, bearing down but nobody could do anything. So my friend drove me home. I just collapsed on the floor. My poor bullmastiff was standing over me, just like, what's happening? Oh, yeah. So I went to the hospital. I told them that my naturopath thinks it's Trigeminal Neuralgia. And then after about 12 hours, they said, I think we have Trigeminal Neuralgia.
Krista McKeachie [00:31:25 - 00:31:30]:
Yeah, they weren't really on board with the first time you shared that.
Erica Carroll :
Yeah. You were there.
Krista McKeachie [00:31:31 - 00:32:45]:
I was there. After that, and having been there, it was obviously, you know, as a friend, it was really hard to watch. It was like, these cycles, it was like, almost like contractions, right? Like, these waves would come, and there was nothing that they were doing that could manage that. And you, they had given you quite a bit of morphine, and it was like, a significant amount of doses that even got you to the point where you're like, okay, I care less now. Yet, the pain's still there but I don't care as much. And then it was like the middle of the morning, and they gave you prescriptions that we went and picked up at like 330 in the morning or something crazy. You started taking those.
Erica Carroll:
Yeah. And I didn't get much information about those prescriptions.
Krista McKeachie:
No. If somebody goes, hey, just a heads up, be aware of these things, I would have remembered that and shared that, but no.
Erica Carroll [00:32:45 - 00:34:43]:
So, anyway, Trigeminal Neuralgia, if you want to know more about it, and obviously, we'll probably share more about it, in episodes to come. But I do have a post on my instagram if you want to look at that just gives a breakdown about what it is. Doctors told me it was the suicide disease, which is fun, and that I would need to stay on Tegretol and Oxycodone for the rest of my life because there was no other way to deal with it. But that's not necessarily true, for everybody. I took some time to deal with this, and then I went back to auditioning and working as an actor. And then during the time off, I sought out a Lyme literate physician because I had been bit several times as a teen, honestly, for probably 20 years.
Every time I go to the doctor, I would be like, this is happening, this is happening, this is happening. I would say, you know, I was bit a few times by a tick. Like, do you think that's something we could look at? So I did end up getting testing in BC through my GP, but I was unaware that the ELISA and the Western Blot tests weren't really reliable forms of testing. So I just figured my doctor knew the best. Again, outsourcing, the test came back negative, so I didn't pursue it. But then I had a friend who knew this Lyme literate doctor, and he tested me through. Through IGendX and Armin Labs, and lo and behold, it came back very positive for Lyme and co infections. We will be discussing again in future podcasts about testing that's accurate and efficient, which is going to be super helpful, because then we can point people to that podcast as well, because we're regularly contacted about, where do you test the tick? Where do you test yourself? What's the most effective?
Krista McKeachie [00:34:44 - 00:34:47]:
And those, beginning stages of, like, there's the two scenarios.
Erica Carroll [00:34:48 - 00:00:00]:
Yeah. What do you do immediately upon being bit? Are there homeopathics you can use? Are there tinctures? Are there teas? Are there, you know, mud packs, things like that. So, I went on and worked on another season of When Calls the Heart. Then I was working on another series, and this was the last straw because I woke up one morning to go to work and I had such bad vertigo, I could not move my head. Like, I couldn't turn. I couldn't do anything. But the thing is, for those of you who don't know, when it comes to film work, an actor has to show up. Otherwise there's something called a force majeure where it shuts down production. They have to claim insurance, and it's a nightmare. And I just didn't want to be the person who did that. So I had someone drive me to work. I had hair and makeup do my makeup while I was lying down. And then I just hoped to God that when my scene came up, I was going to be okay. Well, I wasn't. Well, you showed up. You brought me a bunch of homeopathic remedies.
Krista McKeachie:
I was running around town.
Erica Carroll [00:35:41-00:35:55]:
Yeah, trying to find me things.So I wasn't great. I had to be walked to the mark in front of the camera, and I was wearing four inch heels, and I had to hold my co star at a fake gunpoint and then be tackled on the couch.
Krista McKeachie:
So it couldn't have been more active … Not just sitting with a cup of tea, listening?
Erica Carroll [00:35:56 - 00:37:18]:
No. No. And I'm handcuffed behind my back like, it was probably not my best work. So I apologize for anyone who watched it, but it was definitely the most challenging day I've ever worked. And it was also my last. That was the last day because the next season of When Calls the Heart, about a week out from filming, vertigo still hadn't subsided and I just couldn't go on anymore. I had to stop trying to just muscle through. My health challenges had made my passion for acting miserable, and I just had to let it go. And that was eight years ago. I can't believe it's been that long. Since then, I've been unraveling these responses and getting to the root causes of things and obviously learning a ton. And now I get to share it with all of you. So hopefully there'll be a benefit for even just one person. Seriously, I'll go to this effort just for one person to not have to experience this. And oh, while all this was happening, I also had a bull mastiff who, was living with cancer for six years. So I'm going to also share information on that in upcoming podcasts, because a lot of people have that experience with their dogs and it's pretty, pretty amazing. The story about my sweet girl Bella.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah, it's a remarkable one.
Erica Carroll [00:37:20 - 00:37:33]:
Thank you for sticking with me through that, everyone. geez, that was like 30 years summarized into, well, too long, but yeah. Krista?
Krista McKeachie:
Yes.
Erica Carroll [00:37:34 - 00:37:40]:
Talk to me and tell me about your little roller coaster ride.
Krista McKeachie [00:37:41 - 00:40:10]:
My childhood was great too. I had some injuries and some issues, kind of in my late teens, early twenties, I think. The real constant, like “What is happening?” and what you had spoken about earlier, like, “This isn't right, this isn't normal”, started in my late twenties. I'd had a significant ankle injury where I really tore all the ligaments in my left ankle. And I, in hindsight, like that sort of catapulted a decade, plus 10-15 years long, of a series of events. But in hindsight, after learning a lot, that probably was the trauma that had sparked Lyme, that was probably sitting dormant. After that ankle injury, I had other injuries where the healing took … even with my ankle … the healing took significantly longer than was normal. And then I had issues with my ribs and issues with my neck spasming and my head was stuck forward. Anyhow, that happened quite a few times. And yeah, nerve pain, that, again, you just sort of just deal with. During all of that time, one of my closest friends was managing a cancer diagnosis, and that was a really profound experience for me, as I was, I would say, closely connected with her and very much a part of the healing journey. I went with her to two different clinics. We went to a clinic in Germany and then a year later went to a clinic in Mexico. So I accompanied her on those trips as her support system. And there was also a chunk there when things were really rough, that I was her daytime caregiver. I would switch off with her husband, he'd work in the day and then I'd go to work at night kind of thing. So there was a lot of learning. It was like a really steep learning curve. I tried to do as much learning and research as I could just to look at what could help from all different angles. So, the gift was that it gave me an awareness on a lot of different fronts of what's out there and what's available.
Erica Carroll:
Because she did conventional therapy.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah. She did allopathic and then holistic.
Erica Carroll:
Yeah.
Krista McKeachie [00:39:59 - 00:41:03]:
And Germany was a little bit of both, you know? She sort of navigated that according to where she was at. So from that, we ended up creating a website called Hope + Anarchy where my dear friend Kim shared her experience just navigating the diagnosis and treatment. It's essentially a blog and a website and there's contributions. The majority are obviously her. And then, her sweet daughter Ava and her husband contributed and myself. It was just the same, kind of a similar vein to what we're doing. You've had these experiences, and if you can share your lessons learned and some of your aha moments and observations, even for other people that might be just embarking or are curious, and it's of help to just one person, then how wonderful, right?
The site's called hope and anarchy. Hopeandanarchy.com, if anybody wants to look into that.
So anyhow, ten years, lots of pain …
Erica Carroll:
And then you get diagnosed. You get your Lyme diagnosis.
Krista McKeachie [00:41:29 - 00:41:43]:
Yeah. There were definite symptoms that we both experienced that had similarities and some that were very different. And it was after that diagnosis that you called me and said, hey, hey, buds.
Erica Carroll [00:41:44 - 00:42:04]:
Pretty sure the more I learned about Lyme and co infections, just all these boxes were ticking off. When I'd look at Krista, I was like, oof. I just … Let's rule this out. Well, we didn't.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah, no.
Erica Carroll:
You got a diagnosis of Lyme disease.
Krista McKeachie [00:42:05 - 00:42:25]:
Super positive. That was kind of, that was early, early 2018, and then I woke up at the end of July in the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced. I couldn't move my head, I couldn't get up.
Erica Carroll:
So this was your C 4-5, C5-6 was …
Krista McKeachie [00:42:26 - 00:43:51]:
A large herniation that was visibly pushing on my spinal cord, causing the nerve pain. And then C4-5 and 6-7, one's hypertrophy and one's bulging. So lots of action just in that part of my neck. It was like, what, eight, nine months till I really got relief. I was on a boatload of pharmaceuticals just to try to function. I did nerve blockers. I had an epidural in my neck. I had stuff up my nose. And then finally in April was when I did that lidocaine. I also had something called central sensitivity syndrome, where the alarm bells are just always going off. And thankfully, in April, I tried something under the supervision of a doctor called a lidocaine infusion. And I did that regularly for quite some time, like a good year plus, because I was on my back pretty much up until then.
Jump to recovering from the neck and being able to function again and sit up and work and do all that kind of stuff which was a focus for quite some time. And then, yeah, this last summer, I'm now working with a Lyme literate doctor and chelating heavy metals. Doing the layers.
Erica Carroll [00:43:52 - 00:44:01]:
Right now, that's part of one of the biggest things that we've learned is there's a lot contributing to why these things happen.
Krista McKeachie [00:44:02 - 00:44:24]:
And then in the learning of people that have similar conditions, it seems to be a definite through line with nerve and disc issues that was kind of after the fact.
Erica Carroll:
It was like, oh, a through line.
Krista McKeachie:
With just a lot of people with Lyme also having disc issues.
Erica Carroll:
Right?
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah.
Erica Carroll:
Yeah. Wow.
Krista McKeachie:
That's a nutshell.
Erica Carroll [00:44:25 - 00:44:33]:
So that's where we got our education from everyone. Yeah. So thanks for listening to that.
Krista McKeachie [00:44:34 - 00:44:41]:
We're going to discuss some observations from our little roller coaster.
Erica Carroll [00:44:42 - 00:45:16]:
Yeah. So, when you're first presented with these diagnoses, there's definite distinctive stages that happen. And we observed that most of us pass through phases that can provide growth, depending on how you look at it. But it's not unlike the seven stages of grief. And, you know, if you do a little internet search, some people have outlined stages of chronic illness or diagnoses, but they all pretty much are part of the stages of grief. And for those of you who don't, you've never heard of these stages, Krista, fill us in.
Krista McKeachie [00:45:17 - 00:45:50]:
Stage 1: shock and denial. Stage 2: pain and guilt. Stage 3: anger and bargaining. Stage 4: depression. Stage 5: the upward turn. And then we go into Stage 6: which is reconstruction and working through. And lastly, Stage 7: acceptance and hope.
Erica, can you, maybe share with the listeners any reflections that you've had on these stages?
Erica Carroll: [00:45:51-00:46:16]
Yeah, I mean, it's interesting just glancing down at this list here. there's a lot of other words next to shock and denial. Confusion, hopelessness, loneliness, anger. I look at pain and guilt, anger, bargaining, depression. I mean, when you get a diagnosis, I think it's a really natural process to go through these stages and also bounce back and forth between them.
Krista McKeachie:
Absolutely.
Erica Carroll [00:46:17 - 00:47:50]:
I recognize that I've passed through many of these stages. Depending on what stage, I made a lot of discoveries. And then, while unraveling the responses in my body, I began to recognize that the way I viewed health was actually pretty limited and like a superficial perspective. In order to achieve healing, I needed my approach overhauled.
And then this just led me down this meandering and, you know, revolutionary path that, I mean, it's been really surprising and it's been really humbling. It's still that way every day. I guess the main point, you know, about this is we're all in different stages of our physical experience. So I'm more towards the later stages, the upward turn, the reconstruction, the acceptance and hope. Just know that I'm not poo pooing where anyone else is, but because the following of what I'm going to say might activate some of you, depending on where you're at, so. For me, I just, I can't argue with this, knowing I have inside myself that,one of the messages I received was not to have an attachment to these diagnoses. So that is just information.
You know, what does it mean? Chronic fatigue information. Lyme and co infections. More facts. Trigeminal neuralgia. Yep, that's info. Ehlers Danlos syndrome. You got it. You know, details.
Krista McKeachie [00:47:51 - 00:48:01]:
My dear friend Kim used to always say, bad news is still good information. Like, there's value in that information, even if it's not what you're wanting to hear.
Erica Carroll:
Valuable information, but it's not who you are.
Krista McKeachie:
Yes.
Erica Carroll [00:48:02 - 00:48:22]:
I love Michael Bernard Beckwith. He says you are an unlimited, eternal, infinite spiritual being having a human incarnation. And that just reminds us how powerful we really are.
Krista McKeachie:
Absolutely. Yeah.
Erica Carroll:
Thanks, MBB.
Krista McKeachie [00:48:23 - 00:48:51]:
When speaking of power, I think, and we've had this conversation before. For us, identifying as a diagnosis is dis empowering. Right. It can keep you in a box and feed the ego, which obviously can get satisfaction in letting others see. Right. And treat you as the victim. But then you see yourself as that, and that's just like a cycle.
Erica Carroll:
Yeah.
Krista McKeachie [00:48:51 - 00:49:29]:
Right. Ouch. Yeah. And that's really, that's uncomfortable and it's really hard to look at and examine. But if we don't, then. It's just identifying with that diagnosis, I guess, in turn, you then perceive that you're powerless over that, and then that's just a confirmation of staying in that familiar dysfunctional pattern. Right. So it's just this, like, state of not breaking out.
Erica Carroll [00:49:30 - 00:49:44]:
Also, there's a segment of society that benefits from us being disempowered. And there's also a segment that enjoys being disempowered. Maybe not consciously, no.
Krista McKeachie [00:49:45 - 00:50:02]:
Yeah, it's not easy to look at. And that pattern of maybe avoiding looking at it and avoiding those feelings, might contribute to the dis-ease state that sometimes we can be in.
Erica Carroll: [00:50:03 - 00:51:01]:
Yeah, a diagnosis doesn't mean that you have to be broken or that you're permanently incapable of growth or change or just healing in general. It's part of the reason why I don't resonate with certain support groups, or practitioners that encourage a limited belief system around healing. Anyone that promotes that I am at the mercy of and must succumb to a diagnosis is, it's a hard pass for me anyway. I come to think of it as messages from the body showing us how it's been adapting and managing. It's a means of communication. And then we have to be willing to wade into those messages and then purify the info coming through some filters of analysis and then let it offer us a roadmap, you know, as to what level healing needs to take place and in what order it needs to take place. It's like a physical manifestation of imbalance.
Krista McKeachie [00:51:02 - 00:51:37]:
Yeah. For our listeners we'll refer to imbalance. For simplicity's sake we're using that term, but it's more of an umbrella term for say, internal external influence. I mean, it could be like parasites or toxins. And also in reference to the body's physical systems as well as all the different levels of emotional and spiritual and energetic levels. But rather than having to say that every time, we just sort of,
Erica Carroll:
Throw out a blanket statement.
Krista McKeachie [00:51:38 - 00:51:50]:
So those are the terms.
Erica Carroll:
Yeah, yeah. I like to think of a diagnosis as a starting point, not a term. You know? The point from which you can navigate.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah.
Erica Carroll [00:51:52 - 00:52:29]:
You can grow and proceed. You can take that information and you can transmute it. You're not powerless now this way of approaching illness. I mean, some people, yes that's inherently how they feel. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, I'm just saying this is my perspective. But this doesn't come immediately either. You know, the stages that we had just listed, they are a necessary part of the healing process. So one doesn't go from shock and denial to acceptance in five minutes. And if you think you do, then you're definitely. You're stuck in denial because, you know, it just. It all takes time.
Krista McKeachie [00:52:30 - 00:52:44]:
Yeah. And the time, you need the time to process it. you need to give yourself grace and allow that to all happen, because, as you said, we can bounce from one to the other. And also, I think there's different elements where we could be at different stages whether it's spiritual or energetic or physical. Like, we might be in a different stage for different scenarios too, right?
Erica Carroll:
Totally. Yeah.
Krista McKeachie [00:52:45 - 00:53:56]:
Yeah. And for our listeners, we just want to convey that we very much understand that it's complex and it is a process in itself. And so just please know that we don't pass judgment for where anyone's at, at any given point, including ourselves. Right. We can't pass judgment on ourselves for being in a stage when we might want to be in a different one, or we've taken a step forward and a couple steps back to just remember for us all to be gentle and to be kind and that. To just do our best because we have to take it as it comes. It's a practice.
So, Erica, circling back to what you were talking about before with receiving those messages from the body or aha moments, you could say, is there anything that's come up for you in terms of, like, big aha moments?
Erica Carroll [00:53:57 - 00:54:52]:
Yeah, the labels and identifying as them. I know we just talked about it, I just have an aversion to that “I am” any of these labels I've been given, you know? But I get it. Like, we live in a world that uses classification in order to organize and to assign appropriate responses. I get it. And, you know, you want to get tests from a doctor, you've got to present a symptom. You've got a rate on a numeric scale, your level of pain, you know, to be improved for treatments or receive disability insurance or coverage from the government. You’ve got to check off boxes that are within the acceptable parameters outlined by the government agencies. Then, while being an absolutely unique and individual expression of a human, you're forced into a generic mold and then you have to adhere to outdated protocols that meet requirements on a scale of one to ten and yada yada, yada.
Krista McKeachie [00:54:53 - 00:56:08]:
Yeah. So, like, because of that system, it can be a smooth and, like, sneaky little transition, of then identifying as the condition. Which of course, it makes sense that we would fall into that because all aspects of your life are revolving around that, like, especially when it's significant. Right. Sometimes it's necessary that you are focused on that. However, we have to be cognizant of - like attracts like.. Whether it's things or the people or how similar frequencies, as we say, come into our life when we're in that frequency. We have to do our best, which isn't always easy to do, but just make the choice to stay present in this version of empowered reality so we can stay on track to what our ultimate goal is, which is healing.
Erica Carroll [00:56:09 - 00:57:10]:
I know that we need community as humans, and being able to relate based on a collection of symptoms is necessary for some, and it can be a powerful support. And when you're navigating uncharted waters of a new illness, the first impulse is to look for a lighthouse, right. Just to guide you away from the rocks. You feel desperate for someone or something that'll help you tread the water and to quell the real fear that you're experiencing. And we do need to honor and work through that process and allow fear, and then to alchemize it, you know, keep moving forward and not get stuck there. I know the value these communities can offer, but I also, I'm wary because they can also offer.
Krista McKeachie:
Well, there's an extreme. Yeah, there's the other extreme end of it.
Erica Carroll [00:57:11 - 00:57:49]:
Misery loves company. And, I'm just very cognizant of staying in that for too long.
Long response, even longer. I don't refer to myself as a Trigeminal Neuralgia Bolter or Ehlers Danlos Zebra or I'm not a Lyme disease Limey. I'm not a warrior, I'm not a fighter that battles against some personification of the pain I'm experiencing. And let's see, like, if I were to distill it, I suppose I'm loving the peace and healing into myself. I don't know, that's …
Krista McKeachie [00:57:50 - 00:58:23]:
Well, there's an energy behind it, right? And it's that certain energy doesn't resonate with you, and so you're turning it and focusing on the energy that does resonate for you. I remember years ago there was a campaign, the f cancer campaign, that brought up some feelings when that was all happening. Can you speak to that a little bit more?
Erica Carroll [00:58:24 - 00:59:23]:
Yeah, I mean, that definitely doesn't resonate with me. Like you said, the energy behind those words creates an incoherence in my body. And, I'm a big believer in spelling. I'm doing air quotes for those who can't see me, and, you know, the power behind the words we use and their ability to manifest outcome. Just the idea of me using my mind to put the frequency of fighting or attacking or battling anything to do with this vessel that I inhabit, it seems really incongruent with healing. Yeah, I do my best to stay conscious of the words I choose. But I'm not perfect, that's for sure. And I'm just watchful of the narratives that encourage me to become a victim to circumstances. And this isn't the easiest task because my observation is our society encourages and kind of celebrates the opposite.
Krista McKeachie:
Exactly. Yeah.
Erica Carroll [00:59:24 - 00:59:51]:
Yeah. But, yeah. No shade, man. I mean, I get it. The energy behind being a warrior. Like, for some people, there's a power to that, you know, that feels proactive, for them. Look, I'm fighting, I'm not giving up. I'm heading the battle drum of millions of people. You know, we're beating it at the same time. Like there's power in a battle cry. That's why it works..
Krista McKeachie [00:59:52 - 01:00:14]:
And again, there are some times where maybe for a beat or it's bridging the gap to get you out of … that totally transitions you, to motivate you, to catapult you. But the difference between utilizing that for a short period of time versus living in that consistently is very different.
Erica Carroll [01:00:15 - 01:00:23]:
Yeah. And I say you do you. I mean, whatever you have to do to keep your chin up is, Life ain't easy.
Krista McKeachie [01:00:24 - 01:00:31]:
Well, we were talking about the stages of grief before.
Erica Carroll [01:00:32 - 01:01:22]:
I mean, I think I've … now, I'm just getting, you know, precious with imaginary feelings of people that I don't know who are listening. But, this doesn't negate that there isn't time needed to lick your wounds, and that can ebb and flow depending on the day. So, you know, when we finally get validation that the painful responses in our body are acknowledged and validated, like, that's huge. That's a huge moment, and it's a huge relief when you learn that your feelings are, indeed real.
And then this validation, you need to process your anger and grieve for yourself, and you're suffering loss and pain and tragedy, and I just personally don't want to wallow in the mud for too long. Like, longer than necessary. Both spiritually bypassing, just choosing again?
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Erica Carroll [01:01:23 - 01:02:09]:
Life, it's just a classroom and you're just learning and alchemizing and using some seriously dark, humorous and letting go of the rest. Because, you know, other days and sometimes weeks, the pendulum swings into the darkness and I feel all the feels one would expect. And then, you know, as time has passed, I've learned to practice surrender and have grace with myself. Because I've got the data now from past experience that the pendulum always swings back to the light eventually, right?
Krista McKeachie [01:02:10 - 01:02:22]:
Yes. What do you think are some of the more challenging aspects of this healing and this, like you said, being in the light and the dark.
Erica Carroll [01:02:23 - 01:02:25]:
Yeah. Might be besides finances.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah, yeah, that one, that old chestnut.
Erica Carroll:
Not, I would say probably, examining and taking responsibility for my part in the disease.
Krista McKeachie :
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Right.
Erica Carroll:
Could you imagine someone saying to you, like, what's this doing for you?
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah. What is this serving you?
Erica Carroll [01:02:55 - 01:03:09]:
Some people actually do say that, but these are things I've asked myself in …
Krista McKeachie:
The privacy of your own mind.
Erica Carroll [01:03:10 - 01:03:26]:
Yeah. How does this dis-ease work for you? Where, if any, are the benefits? It's not like, oh, this, you know, I don't have to do x, y and z. You know, it's usually something quite deep and elaborate. It's not just a simple little thing. Where have I repeatedly betrayed myself or compromised my boundaries, ignored my limitations, or, you know, bent my values or my ethics, exposed myself to environments or people or circumstances that are just not in the best interest of my being? It's hard to hold yourself accountable to that. And it takes a lot of stillness and reflection. And honesty and bravery.
Krista McKeachie:
Yes. Courage, absolutely.
Erica Carroll:
You can lie to other people, but you can't really lie to yourself.
Krista McKeachie:
No.
Erica Carroll [01:03:42 - 01:04:16]:
And then just examining my habits, what doesn't serve in the optimization of my body, mind and spirit. If every night before bed, you're scrolling through a doom scroll with the blue light in your eyes and you can't sleep and you can't stop your mind racing about terrible things, you are causing that.
Krista McKeachie [01:04:17 - 01:04:22]:
Or watching something on the TV that is horrific and then expecting to have sweet dreams. Yeah.
Erica Carroll :
And things like, you know, are you listening to your body when it's saying no? Like, do you even know what the no is?
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah. When is it a yes? When is it a no?
Erica Carroll [01:04:33 - 01:05:19]:
Do you know what no sounds like, feels like? Am I ever present enough to be able to hear it? Because quite often again, social media devices, distractions, the world. Mindfulness. So many people don't have any time with their thoughts and feelings.
And then we don't want to deal with our thoughts and feelings because those things are telling you, maybe information that you don't want to pay attention to. And until you start paying attention, your body may start trying to give you physical symptoms to get your attention. And my recommendation, and I feel very confident about this, is pay attention to the whisper before you have to hear the scream. Yeah, I, mean, you can't stop it when it screams.
Krista McKeachie:
No. And it sure is not fun.
Erica Carroll [01:05:20 - 01:06:09]:
Then you gotta unravel all those layers and it can take a lot of time. Examining where you feel stuck in life, where you're fearful, where you're denying or lying to yourself. As I said, and then learning where you've been adapting after years of pain and unraveling those responses to get the root cause, and then, having the courage to seek out remedies, to seek out treatments, to seek out modalities that may serve you better, but you may come from certain backgrounds or your family, or there's a stigma attached to whether it's going to see a therapist. That can be very difficult, for people or not understanding homeopathy or being scared of needles, you know, for acupuncture.
Krista McKeachie [01:06:10 - 01:06:58]:
Also the risk that it might not initially, there might not be an immediate shift.. Just the patience and time that you might have to do this for a while and be uncomfortable for a while until you see results. Because obviously, our world right now is all about quick results.
When we do our podcast, we want to finish off the podcast by asking guests how, if there was something that appeared to be a devastating challenge or a loss in the moment, how that transmuted into a golden gift.
On that note, would you be able to share a few of your golden eggs?
Erica Carroll [01:06:59 - 01:07:43]:
It's funny because there's actually a lot of good things. I feel like what we discussed earlier, just regarding our philosophy, you know, is the gold I've taken away.
Over 30 plus years of illness. Yeah. That's a long bleeding time. The change in the way I view illness is a gift from this journey. And then just the power of when you start to see your conscious thoughts turning into real reality, and then you're manifesting, that feels pretty powerful.
Krista McKeachie [01:07:44 - 01:07:55]:
Can I jump in? Sorry. And the practice of that and how over time, it's not such a slog to kind of shift out of a certain state, right?
Erica Carroll [01:07:56 - 01:09:28]:
Yeah. You get that muscle, it becomes a stronger muscle. It's not like trying to stop a freight train, it becomes easier, a golden nugget in this experience is just how it made me question societal systems. It helped me be more discerning when it came to making a decision for my body in the last four years. And because of what I had gone through, it helped me seek informed consent to support my choices. So grateful. I just don't think I would have done the same thing had I not gone through what I went through. So, thanks universe.
This is a continuation of the last point. What I had gone through put me in the hands of a team of doctors who were very aware. So I just don't know if I would have found them had I not gone through what I went through. And then in turn, what I was able to share with my loved ones and people who also needed affirmation. That's a huge gift. Oh, and then obviously dark humor. So that's my irish upbringing, because I do laugh at the most devastating things, which can be very uncomfortable for people. When you dance with the darkness on a daily basis, you can either sit there and be afraid of it, or you can just laugh in its face. Which one would you rather? I don't know. And then darkness is like don’t care ..
Krista McKeachie [01:09:29 - 01:09:33]:
Because the alternative is like spiraling down.
Erica Carroll [01:09:34 - 01:09:41]:
Yeah. So let's be real. There are definite days where I know how to spiral. I’m a sad sack. But …
Krista McKeachie:
It's a good tool, though.
Erica Carroll [01:09:42 - 01:10:21]:
I am grateful to my ancestors for that. And then obviously, the empowerment I gained from advocating for myself and being able to inspire others to find answers for their challenges. That's a thing of beauty. Oh then when, you know, you experienced unpredictable pain or just fatigue, really helps you prioritize things that seem important when you're super healthy. It doesn't matter anymore. Like drama. No.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah, it literally cuts the fat off for you.
Erica Carroll [01:10:22 - 01:10:47]:
Yeah. You're just like, I literally have zero f's to give you, you know? And then there's the simple things. Right. So my life has slowed really down. My life has slowed down a lot. So, yeah, I'm deriving joy from very, very simple things. Like just staring at a little bird, hopping around.
Krista McKeachie:
Yeah. The appreciation of those little.
Erica Carroll:
So many things.
Krista McKeachie [01:10:55 - 01:15:04]:
Yeah. Which we can … you talking about just those little beautiful things, that's something I've always noticed. When you're dealing with health challenges or what have you, those little bits of beauty, they almost get shinier and brighter and sparklier than when you've noticed them before. I've always paid attention to those kinds of little things and the busier you are and the more distracted you are, you don't … we take it for granted and we don't notice it. I echo some of the ones that you've shared for sure. I think the experience that I had with my friend Kim and then my own health stuff, that gaining of just awareness and gleaming more info can then be applicable to other things that pop up. Right. It's not all for naught, I guess. Another one is just crossing paths with exceptional human beings.
That otherwise you may not have crossed paths with. Similar to what you said, just that confirmation that you can come through really tough times. A woman that I worked with years ago gave me a tool. When there's something that comes up that … let's use worry, for example, and you're worrying about something. She said look in your life for a time where there was a similar parallel. What was the outcome? You were okay. And so when something similar is coming up for you and it's in the moment, you can then remember you were okay. And that also has been a practice. Something might come up and it might be consuming for a chunk of time and if you keep practicing … when it might have consumed your thoughts and you might not have been able to sleep for a week, then it becomes a couple of days and then it's hours. Now it's at the point where a thought comes in and you recognize what it is and that you'll be okay. To have that same approach with the health challenges and sometimes real suffering and pain … we, as these little meat suits that we are, and how amazing our body is, we can come through those tough times and there is light at the end of the tunnel down there. And just to remember that, which is hard. It's hard to remember in the tough times, right?
And I just in sort of wrapping up and in closing, one of the lessons that you and I have talked about that we've learned is to know before you need to know and to have sort of a base and a general understanding, before there's a decline in health, that then forces you to potentially make decisions that are based in fear. The primary driver of fear is in the driver's seat. And you might be in the passenger seat, but they're still in the driver's seat. And having this awareness beforehand allows us to have a clearer roadmap, like you had spoken about earlier, just having that clear roadmap for if, when the time comes, we can make clearer choices that are actually better for us. I'm going to speak for both of us, I think we hope that this podcast can help shed light on just a variety of scenarios and subjects to help just give people that preview of what may or may not be down the road.
Erica Carroll [01:15:05 - 01:17:12]:
So beautiful. Well, I think that is it for us today, my friend.
I have a little quote from a play by, Brian Friel that just stuck with me years ago when I heard it. And now when I come up against challenges, and because I have the luxury of being in my late forties, now I can look back and recognize that even in those challenges, something really good comes out of it.
“Even now, even so soon, it is being distilled of all its coarseness, and what's left is going to be precious, precious gold.” - Brian Friel
The most valuable thing we have is our health. But a close second is our time, and we know how precious it is. So the fact that you chose to spend it with us is pretty awesome. Thank you.
Here's what's coming up in our next episode. With all the toxins in our food and environment, it's not surprising you may feel overwhelmed and wondering where to start to support your body with this potential burden. Here's the positive note. You can be proactive by adding detoxing techniques to your optimization protocol. In our next two episodes, we will discuss detoxing with the ionic foot spa with Kellyann Andrews of Platinum Energy Systems. If you've had the feeling that you need to learn more about supporting the body in this way, then click on the next episode and soak it up.
And if I still have your attention, please walk alongside us on this experience called life by subscribing or sharing the Alchemy of Healing Podcast with your friends, and heck, even your enemies if you have them. By doing so, you spread the energy of self empowerment and wellness. So, thank you. Should you wish to contact us, you can do so at info@alchemyofhealing.ca if you missed jotting down any key points, just pop into our show notes as all the links will be provided there. And finally, if you enjoyed our intro episode and would like to spread a little abundance our way, feel free to buy us a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/alchemyofhealing. Alright, that's all folks. Get out there and have a fantastic day.